Who is the Demon?
by Zero Vision
Summary: What does Mello feel when he hits Near? What does Near feel when Mello hits him? Who's trying to punish who? For what? NearxMello
1. Prologue

Hello everyone! This is the prologue to this little NearxMello fanfic I am going to be writing. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Death Note does not belong to me.

"Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…" whispered Mello, his voice shaking. He was kneeling in front what he believed was an altar, a darkened, ancient church altar. The night's frozen breath delicately blew through him, lingered for a little while playing with the strands of hair on his neck and then moved on, making the boy shiver. His own breath escaped from his barely pink lips at regular intervals together with the sacred message to God. What was he doing at a cold, deserted church in a middle of a night? The only sound available to the ear was the one of Mello inhaling and exhaling, yet the blonde could not hear his own thoughts.

He looked up. Before him stood a ghost. No. It was a person who wanted to be like a ghost, invisible to all senses. White hair, white skin, white clothes and these coal black eyes of a demon penetrating Mello and causing his eyes to burn. The demon was holding an approximately one metre crucifix. Adoration of the Cross. Mello felt disturbed by seeing this evil creature in authority, claiming an ownership of such a sacred object on such a sacred day.

The blonde stood up and slowly walked towards them. _Kiss. Near. Christ. _He slowly dropped to his knees again, closer to the altar, this time also touching the crucifix. His gaze shifting hesitatingly between the boy looking at him with a lustful glare, clearly taking pleasure of the power he has and the object of worship holding in his tanned hands. _You're an abomination, Mello. _He heard a familiar voice say, but he was not surprised. He knew. The older boy waited for the demonic creature to release one of its pale palms from the cross which reached towards him and gently brushed his warm cheek and travelled its way to the back of his head. The white boy kept on tearing the other boy's soul into the smallest shreds while the blonde pulled the snow white, silky pyjama bottoms down to the white haired boy's knees.

Mello gently took the warm member into his fingertips and started stroking it delicately. He didn't pay attention before, but the demon gasped quietly. The blonde gained a little bit more confidence when he realised that he too was aroused, so he started moving his hand up and down the other boy's feeling his own warmth getting too uncomfortable. He could hear the black eyed boy breathing fast as his hand grabbed the hair at the back of Mello's head firmly, begging him for more. The older boy stopped the movement and with one move took its whole length into his wet, warm mouth, his tongue sliding across it as Mello heard two sounds: the younger boy's scream of pleasure and a big metal object hitting the floor.

The light creeping into Mello's room woke him up. He opened his eyes and took a couple of seconds to understand what was going on.

"What the fu-?" he looked at a massive wet patch on his pyjama bottoms and then collapsed back onto the bed covering his face with a pillow. "Fucking Near" he screamed in it.


	2. Don't Chat

Hey everyone, so this is another chapter of this little story. I'll keep the chapter a little short as I'd like to use it as an introduction to the fanfic. The action starts now. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note.

_I must have some kind of a power fetish. No, there is a better, more logical explanation for what's happening to me. Dreams do not represent anything directly – never. I've once read that dreaming of a car accident does not mean that you will experience one, but that you are under a lot of stress. It's just my frustration with that little weirdo showing through my dreams. That fact that he makes me feel like a complete idiot, which I'm not! I don't WANT to do any STUFF with HIM. _Mello felt his ears burning at the thought of the dream he experienced that morning. He bit his lip tasting the remainder of the chocolate he ate only a couple of moments before his maths lesson. _I don't want to suck him off… But the way he lost control. _A weak moan escaped from his mouth, but thankfully the class was too loud to hear it, except from a couple of people maybe.

No. He had to stop paying so much attention to him. Of course, seeing the list of results where Near ranked first and Mello always took the shameful second place or hearing about how _fucking _brilliant Near was motivated the blue eyed boy to become better. It worked like a stimulant, but it was so damn destructive to him too. Whenever someone mentions the white haired boy around Mello in an at least _slightly _positive way, the blonde feels the untamed urge to beat the living shit out of them. _No. _He reminded himself again. The time he spent on thinking about that little fuck could be used in a more _productive_ way – like revising. He was sure Near didn't give a shit about Mello. Heck! Near didn't even want to _look _at Mello, as if he was some unworthy scum. Every time the blonde tried to make eye contact the other boy acted like he hasn't seen it and went back to playing with his stupid toys. That pissed him off senseless too.

"Hey Mello" he heard a whisper, he recognised the voice straight away. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Matt" answered darkly Mello. He's known the red-head for years now, but he couldn't tell him what was happening. He knew of the one sided rivalry between him and Mello, but not about the dreams and his other _thoughts._

"Do you want to sneak out for a couple of drinks with other guys tonight?" The relationship Matt and Mello had with the rest of the Wammy's House was rather unusual. In the past it was Mello who was always surrounded by friends and Matt would be the shy one to escape to the virtual world, but they always stuck together. After a couple of years – or after Near beat him for the first time, Mello gradually started becoming more and more isolated. His world was separated into a couple of parts: L, himself, Matt, Roger, Near and the rest of the world. Each of those relationships was completely different and he liked it that way.

"Mello." His voice got louder as Mello saw the teacher's eyes starting at the two of them. He kept her stare for a couple of seconds until she moved on.

"Not tonight, I need to prepare for the geography test." He replied quickly, but not quickly enough as the devilish eyes of the older woman were back on them.

"Matt, Mello I wish to speak to you after the lesson." She demanded with a rasp probably caused by the excessive smoking. Mrs Wilson was probably the only person in the orphanage who smoked more than his gamer friend.

"Thanks arsehole." Muttered the blonde.

Soon enough the bell rang and the two boys made their way to the angry looking female teacher.

"Are you aware of the fact that this is the third time this week that I've caught you two chatting during my lesson?" she asked. "You can be sure that there will be consequences. I am going to inform Roger about-" she suddenly stopped clearly reading something on the laptop screen.

"Mello, I've just been informed, Roger wants to see you in his office right now. You should go immediately, we will pick this conversation up next lesson. Dismissed."

The boys looked at each other surprised as the teacher quickly rushed towards the doors.

"I better go then" said Mello nervous. "See you later"

"See you Mels" replied the other boy quietly.

The blonde walked anxiously along the main corridor. _I wonder what Roger wants from me. Mrs Wilson looked concerned… I'd go as far as worried. _He hesitated when he reached the wooden door. Took a couple of deep breaths and laughed at himself. _Why are you nervous you idiot? It's just Roger. _He opened the door and saw three figures. An old man, a boy dressed in white only and a black-haired detective Mello aspired to be like. L.

There you go. A chapter for you, reviews for me.


	3. L

'_Mummy!' Mummy is standing in front of the mirror, putting some weird barely black powder on her eyelids. Mummy's lips are red again. Before, I heard her and daddy shout things I don't even understand and then daddy left. Her cheeks are also red. She sat on the sofa in our living room and started crying. Mummy's putting her red coat on again. Where is she going? She always disappears for a couple of hours, but she always brings me back chocolate. I hope she will today, too. Mummy's face looked different today. Usually she would hug me and say that she will come back soon. She would kiss me on my forehead and I would be able to smell this volatile liquid she sprays on herself before she leaves. Today she didn't do any of that. I wonder what she is planning._

'Good afternoon, Mello.' Said a young man, with ivory skin, coal coloured eyes and jet black hair, which seemed to be a completely different organism- except from it didn't move if there wasn't another force applied to it. He wasn't tall, but the fact that he was so skinny made him look a little bit like a bent tree branch. Quite literally, as the man stood in a rather peculiar manner, his pale hands in his pockets, but it was the man's back which really caught the blonde haired genius off guard. It made a graceful arch from his backbone to his neck. His voice was deep and masculine, but had something juvenile about it. Was it a boy or a man? Probably something in between. It was after all the greatest detective of all time. L.

'Afternoon, L.' the boy responded trying to hide the surprise in his voice. _Why was he back? _ He nodded at the other two people in the room. 'Roger, Near.'

'Take a sit, please' said the older man with a strong British accent, gesturing at the comfortable looking chair. 'We have been waiting for you.'

'I believe I am right to assume you don't know why Roger and I have called you two in, is this correct?' asked the dark haired man looking at the panda shaped confectionary. His big, rounded eyes looked straight into mine. He looked like a panda himself… but he wasn't fat. Mello wanted to make a good impression on L, but his tongue refused to serve him. After what felt like centuries, but in reality was only a couple of seconds the blonde heard a soft voice.

'Correct' replied the white haired boy. He seemed to be unaffected by the detective's presence, or was he? Perhaps this could explain the little spark in his eye.

'I see.' L's expression didn't change, or rather his lack of expression. 'Near, Mello, you are perfectly aware of this, but I shall state this again. You're intellect is high above any other child in this institute. I believe that your reasoning abilities may be supressed by this situation. You can be asked any mathematical question in a context, but in reality there is no context. Do you understand what I mean?' he didn't ask for an reply. 'I would like you to be involved in a case. Or shall I say, be in charge of a case.'

Mello's heart nearly stopped. Involved in a _real _case? _Run_ a _real_ case? This must be a dream. He wanted to ask questions, hundreds of them, thousands perhaps, but once again found himself staring at the detective, his idol and role model like a complete and utter idiot.

'However,' the man started again. 'There is one condition. You must - and this is not negotiable, Mello – you must work together.'

How was that meant to work? Why would L even consider doing that? He knows the situation so well, yet he is willing to sacrifice the case for their stupid reason of him and Near getting along. Or maybe they know? Mello tried to be as discrete in the showers as possible, not to make any sound. This is hell. They can't possibly know. No. He's just being paranoid now. Obviously, the only is reason for this is to help Near and Mello with getting along. They are not stupid. Especially L. L is not stupid. There must be a reason for this. He will suck it up and stay quiet _this_ time.

Only then Mello realised he stopped breathing. Everyone else seemed so too, but this was probably not true. Yet, the silence was so perfect, full and complete. Roger broke it with a deep mature laugh.

'I thought it would come as a surprise to them' he patted L on the back, barely touching him and walked across the room towards the teapot and a little porcelain cup.

'I would like to hear your thoughts on this' said L, there was a slight hint of amusement in his voice.

'I am ready to cooperate' so _he _managed to speak. Was he as surprised a Mello when he heard L say these couple of words? Probably not. We're back to the inhumane Near.

'So am I, L.' said Mello trying to make his voice sound as sure and as confident as possible. We had no clue whether he was succeeding. The detective once again looked amused. Or was he simply satisfied with the outcome of the conversation, probably both.

'Brilliant. I will give you more details in the days to come.' The boys nodded, then Mello noticed L took a breath, his eyes gave them a smile. 'I know that you two don't find the school work as difficult. How are your lives on a more personal level?'

This question caught Mello off guard. Yet, he managed to smile. The blonde took a quick glance at the boy near him. He seemed unaffected. Then again, what was Mello expecting?

'I've got Matt and other boys I play football with. It's pretty good.' He was proud of being friends with the red haired gamer who without putting any effort in was third in the institute. Talk about talent. ICT was the subject he especially excelled in. Even Near couldn't do what he did and that unfortunately was an achievement.

'I'm glad to hear this. How about you Near?' asked L. The albino hesitated.

'It's fine.' He answered.

Mello could feel his heart contract for a fraction of a second. Those words seemed so painful even though the boy hid the pain he must have carried so well. Everyone in the room remained silent. Everyone in the room knew what Near just said was a pile of crap. He was lonely, as lonely as a boy this age can get. It was painful.

'I see.' L said, something about his tone of voice changed. It wasn't the volume or the pitch. He seemed… worried. 'This is all for now. You may leave if you wish.'

It was the first time in a long time that those big discoloured eyes met his and Mello felt his blood everywhere.


	4. I Make Dirty Love

**Disclaimer: **Death Note does not belong to me.

_Clothes. _Where are my fucking _clothes? _The blonde teen looked around the messy hole he occasionally called his room. There was a lot of useless shit lying on the ivory carpet, most of them being books on coastal erosion and global tourism he used just a couple of minutes ago before he heard a clear knock. After the meeting with L, Mello decided to let the redhead know that he has changed his mind regarding their night out. He needed to relax and take his mind of things, of course he didn't provide Matt with details or even what the meeting was about. He hated explaining things he couldn't completely comprehend himself and this was one of the things. Now the gamer was sitting on his bed concentrated on playing on his newest baby. Occasionally looking up to see how far Mello was to being ready.

"So who else is going?" asked Mello not looking at the other boy. He opened his closet and threw out some clothes, finally finding a pair of black skinny jeans and a black tank top.

"Chad, Gibson and Brad… maybe some other guys too, but it's going to be pretty regular." Matt answered looking up to see the blonde casually taking one of his most used shirts off and exposing his tanned back. The boy managed to give it a few brief glances before it disappeared underneath a layer of black fabric which looked anything but bad on Mello which went to the bathroom. He took a couple of deep but silent breathes to get rid of the hot feeling on his cheeks.

"Ready?" he heard a familiar voice getting closer from the bathroom. Matt looked up and smirked instantly.

"I make dirty love?" he read. "Someone's planning to get laid tonight?"

Mello waved him off.

"It's just a t-shirt, Mattie" he smiled keeping an eye contact with the gamer. "Plus, I don't need this t-shirt to get laid."

"True." Matt stood up returning the smile. He took Mello's coat off the hanger and passed it to him. "Now let's go, shall we?"

The blonde gave him an amused look. "You're so keen to go. I'm starting to think you're the one planning to get laid" the boy hurried past Matt, which just smiled in response and checked Mello out while the other one was walking in front of him. His eyes stopped at the boy's small, curvy arse. He bit his lip.

"Are you alive?" asked the other boy turning around and Matt quickly looked up to meet his friend's eyes. "They'll see us with your pace."

"Sorry, Mells" the other one replied jogging catch up with the blonde.

Matt and Mello walked towards the corner near the chip shop. That's where they have been meeting up for months now. In the past it was just Matt and Mello who would sneak out and walk aimlessly around the streets of Winchester, occasionally they would take the train to Southampton and stay there for a couple of hours and then come back early in the morning. They got caught once or twice, but Roger knew that Mello needed to breathe and they both were aware that Mello found it rather difficult in the orphanage, constantly unhappy with his results, feeling as if his life stopped at a dead end. During one of their 'nights out' they met Chad – a tall, dark haired boy with a strong mysterious aura around him, who befriended them very quickly. After a couple of weeks later Matt and Mello had been introduced to Gibson and Brad – his band mates. They didn't ask about where they lived, who with or what their last names were and the boys, especially Mello didn't feel the need to tell them.

"Hey, Mells, Matt!" shouted a chubby boy with long ash-blonde hair and a gigantic grin on his face. "We thought you're goin' to stand us up.

"Hey! Sorry guys" answered the gamer. "We had some trouble on the way.

A brown haired boy with massive blue eyes wearing a purple hoodie patted the red head on the back laughing. "You can tell us all about your problem later, if you want, but I think we should go in, there's a great band playing tonight and the bitches go crazy so we won't be able to see anything.

"It's not like you're going to look at the band, Brad" said Mello teasingly and the other boy flushed and looked at the ground "Knowing you, you'll spend the first hour getting pissed and then you'll disappear with some crazy bitch."

"True!" laughed Gibson- the chubby boy, as they walked in the direction of their favourite club.

"Mello" the blonde heard the deep voice and he slowed down.

"What is it, Chad?" he asked.

"What's with the t-shirt?" the boy smiled at him showing off his snow white, sharp-as-hell teeth. It was a hilarious thing to think, but sometimes Chad looked like a vampire.

"What's about the t-shirt?" asked the other boy innocently.

"Hoping for a fuck tonight?" the dark haired boy raised his eyebrows with amusement. First Matt, now Chad. What was it with everyone suddenly being amused with Mello?

"That's exactly what Matt said to me before we left" the blonde answered, running his hand through his own hair. The rest of the boys were long inside the club, probably just realising they left Chad and Mello behind "I don't need to _hope _for a fuck.

"I bet he did" said the other boy quietly, but soon he regretted it. Mello narrowed his eyebrows and offered him a furious look.

"What the fuck?" he hissed and squeezed his right fist as hard as he could and brought it to the tanned face of the older boy with as much power as possible. The other on yelped as he fell backwards and hit the ground. "You know fuck all about Matt. God!

"What the fuck man? I was just kidding. Actually, fuck it. You can calm down, bro. Tell Gibson and Brad I'll be seeing them tomorrow" the boy was already standing; he looked suspiciously at Mello, still surprised with his reaction. Then he just nodded with a quiet "Later" and disappeared in the dark.

Mello looked at his palm clenched into a fist. What the _fuck _did he just do? He hit Chad, because he _implied _that Matt wanted to screw him? That's fucking ridiculous. _Shit. _Mello was losing it. You just don't hit people who are meant to be your friends and they happened to joke about something, but then again what if he wasn't joking. No. Matt surely _wasn't _that way. The probability was simply too low. They were friends. Mello laughed at himself for a second. They were fucking _brothers, _and Chad was just too stupid to realise that, but Mello was too stupid to realise that he had been in fact too stupid to think for a second that Matt could like him in that way. Oh, the irony.

He sighed, still laughing at his own silliness as he entered the club. His ears were suddenly filled with the bass and his eyes attacked with the brutal contrast of bright colours against the black darkness of the place. He felt dizzy.

"Hey, Mello! Over here!" Brad was waving at him from a table on the other side of the room. The blonde moved towards them, still overwhelmed with the atmosphere.

"Where's Chad?" asked Gibson, slightly confused.

"He went home, we had a little disagreement, but he's alright" he sat down beside Matt, ignoring the even more confused looks on their faces "He said he'll be seeing you tomorrow.

"What happened?" Brad leaned back sipping some of his drink.

"It doesn't matter; he can tell you tomorrow if he wants. Where's the band?" Mello looked around and turned back to the boys.

"They got the days mixed up and they're actually playing next week" chuckled Matt. "I got you a drink, Mells" he passed the blonde a bottle of beer.

"Cheers" he smiled at the smell of the liquid. "Brad, got an eye on a target yet?" all four of them laughed.

"Actually, yes, thank you very much for asking." Mello looked at him and the boy continued. "See the blonde over there? Red dress, long legs?"

Mello nodded "Yeah, what are you doing here then?

"I don't know. I'm a little bit nervous to be honest" the brown haired boy admitted.

"Come on you miserable git, I'll go and talk to her friend so that you can try chatting the blonde up" suggested the blonde with a cheeky grin.

"Now?" Brad's eyes lightened a bit, Mello just nodded, still grinning.

"Good luck guys" interrupted Gibson, but they were already off, next time it will be the one to pick girls. He didn't understand why Mello offered to go with Brad. At least he was going to get some entertainment from the blonde trying to prove to everyone what a pussy loving, sex beast he is. He chuckled at the thought.

"What is it Gibby?" asked Matt curiously

"I wonder if they'll succeed- or rather if Mello will succeed, I never saw him pick up a girl.

"Me neither, I'm sure they'll be fine. Let's just watch" answered the other boy taking another sip of his alcoholic drink.

"Honestly… I don't want to sound funny, but I thought Mello was gay. Don't get me wrong, it's just the way he dresses, it's so feminine" admitted the older boy, looking cautiously at the redhead who watched him with great care as if he was trying to see something Gibson prevented himself from saying. Suddenly he sighed deeply and leaned back into the couch.

"I know, a lot of people think that. To be fair, I don't know anything. He doesn't tell me anything anymore. He acts as if there's nothing to say, but he just keeps it to himself. Gibson, we've known each other for years and right now I feel like nothing but a stranger" the boy looked at the table, ashamed. He left a big hand on his shoulder.

"We're not kids, you know? We meet people, we become close with them just to find out after a while that our paths are heading in a different direction" Matt furrowed his eyebrows. "Or maybe he's waiting for you to ask. Now, that's more likely" he smiled.

Both boys looked up as the song has finished. They could see Brad and his long legged blonde in a luminous red dress on the edge of the dance floor, whispering sweet secrets, already drowned in the passionate. The boy fell in love for a night, again. Matt gave a silent gasp as he saw Mello lead a black haired beauty to the middle of the room. After the first half of the song she turned her back to the blonde and slid her small bum against his crotch as his hands fell from her shoulders to her waist. Matt shivered at the sight. They danced like this for a little while and soon the girl turned around and threw her arms around his neck, pulling the blonde into a wet, passionate kiss. He stood still for a while, his eyebrows raised. The boy gently broke their kiss and took her arms of him. She looked puzzled, but Mello just apologised, wiped his mouth and left the room nearly at the speed of light.

Mello quickly pushed himself through the people and the door of the back exit. What the _fuck _was he thinking? He played it well in the beginning, but as things got more physical, he just couldn't stand it. The boy looked at his boner, maybe there was some hope? Yet soon he realised that a boy as stressed and as sexually frustrated as him could become aroused by technically _anything. _Maybe if he let it out? Maybe if he finally got laid, this sickening feeling could go away. The idea sounded nice in his head, but it was highly unlikely. He was screwed.

The sound of the music became quieter and quieter as he reached the short flight of stairs; he sat down on the very bottom step and hid his head in his own shoulder. Shame and anger built up in his body, the pressure became unbearable so they punctured his flesh, skin and spilt to the ground. He felt the presence of someone else. The blonde didn't have to look, he immediately recognised the brown boots of his best friend. He held his breath as the redhead sat next to him, not saying a single word. It felt like the eternity passed before any of them said anything, however Mello knew the other boy preferred silence and in a way it too had a calming effect on the blonde. For a couple of minutes Mello didn't feel anything. No jealousy, rivalry, hatred, desire, happiness. No _anything- _just the occasional blow of the wind which sent his hair flying in a graceful dance.

"L came to Wammy's. He's staying for a couple of days" whispered Mello, Matt raised his eyebrows in question.

"That's what the meeting with Roger was about?" he asked, but it didn't sound like a query, more like stating a fact with a hint of shock.

"Uh-uh" the blonde cleared his throat and looked up, hugging his knees closer to his chest. "He wants me and Near to work on a case. Together" he seemed to hiss the last word.

"Let me guess… you have a problem with working with Near" the other boy nodded, "Did he tell you why?

"Apparently our potential is limited in the orphanage and a hand-on type of a job could help us with that. I mean, shit, he didn't even tell us why now. It seems to out of the blue, there must be a reasons and I fail to see it" the blonde buried his face between his shoulders once more. Matt looked at his friend and scratched his head.

"Mells, what if he's doing that because he's got a trouble with choosing a successor, I mean, maybe the Kira case isn't going well and he feels like he's going to… you know" Mello suddenly looked up, staring straight into the redhead's eyes, full of shock.

"_Shit_" he growled, but then took a couple of deep breaths and smiled weakly "I wonder if you're right, though it seems logical. You're not third for nothing, buddy"

"Cheers" muttered Matt. "So what was it with you running away from that girl?" he chuckled darkly.

"I don't know to be honest. I wish I hadn't done anything. Shit, did you leave Gibson all by himself?"

"He went home" answered the gamer. "Mello"

The blonde looked at his friend again, his eyebrows raised.

"If you ever need anything and I mean _anything_, even if it's just someone to talk to, I'm here, you know that, right?" the boy said quietly not sure if he will regret those words, but Mello seemed so depressed with whatever was bugging him. They were still kids and everyone needs to feel some warmth every now and again, no matter how fucked up their childhoods were. Soon all doubt disappeared when he felt Mello's hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks Matt, it means a lot, honest" he smiled genuinely for the first time in a very long time as he stood up "And now fuck everyone else and let's get drunk" the other boy nodded and joined him.

Mello thought he opened his eyes. He attempted it at the least. All he got in return was a blinding ray of light attacking him from behind the curtain. His stomach felt like it was minced, at least twice and his skull was compressing into a _fucking _singularity. It was pounding. He brought his knees to his chest. _Don't make me get up. Don't make me fucking get up; _he thought to his other self. The blonde told himself the same lie that he always did. He was never going to drink again. Bullshit. The overall feeling was unbearable, yet he managed to get out of bed. All he remembered was the fact that when he got back all he wanted was to fall asleep as soon as possible, as much as he enjoyed the night, his body begged for some rest.

_ Water._

He picked up a random black t-shirt and a pair of old jeans and made his way down to the kitchen. It was just after dawn, a Saturday- or a Sunday? He lost the track, either way all kids were sound asleep. There was probably someone hanging out somewhere near the common room, but Mello didn't care. All he cared about was water and perhaps a little bit of chocolate.

He opened the kitchen door and walked towards the cupboard. He reached for a random cup and placed it on the counter. The boy then took a bottle of water from the fridge and bar of chocolate which disappeared in his pocket immediately. His mouth resembled the Sahara desert more and more with every nanosecond. The blonde lifted himself up and sat on the counter where he relished the sensation the liquid gave him. Suddenly he saw the doors opposite to him open slowly. A pale figure with a bush of black hair emerged at him. The detective continued walking towards the fridge ignoring Mello's presence.

"Good morning, Mello" said the man taking out a rather big piece of a strawberry sponge cake and some whipped cream.

"Morning, L" answered the boy observing him.

"Did you have a good night? I hope you're not suffering too badly from the effects of drinking" he added calmly, keeping the amused tone from yesterday. How did he know? Shit. Obviously, he knew. People under the influence of alcohol tend to be quite loud. Plus, L knew _everything. Always._

"It's not too bad. Thanks for asking."

"I see" the detective finished adding even more cream to his cake. "In this case, I shall excuse myself. Good bye, Mello" the man turned around and headed towards the doors he entered by.

"L" Mello nearly shouted. The man turned around, but still paid all his attention to the big strawberry at the top of the cake.

"Yes?"

"Is the purpose of this… activity, to help you decide between me and Near?" he asked. That was straight forward enough. He knew L liked straight forward questions; those were the only ones he asked. He owned a logical brain, a brilliant one as well to say the least. However, the reaction of the detective surprised him. He looked up suddenly and smiled weakly.

"Let me tell you a secret, Mello" he started, "It must be very ironic to hear this from me, but we can predict as much as we want, but the future is like a river which seems so calm and predictable, yet it could take you anywhere. It could save you. It could kill you. Got to love rivers, don't you think?" the black haired man smiled innocently and left the room without a further warning.

Mello tried to blink away the surprise. _What?_


	5. Change Of Plans

**Disclaimer: **Death Note does not belong to me.

Flashback:

"You fucking piece of shit!" the blonde pushed the younger boy so hard he fell to the ground, ruining his tower made out of a couple of decks of playing cards "No one cares about you, I hope you remember that." Mello stormed out of the room.

The white haired boy should expect that reaction on that particular day. The boys received their most recent test results. Near scored 100, Mello fell two marks behind him. If things keep going the way they are, he was never going to be chosen as the successor. Near proved with every test that he was the one who was made for that role, it related to the idea of fate or destiny- not that Near believed in something as illogical as that. They had a cycle they were both aware of; on the average there was a test every two weeks. The results came; Mello would take it on the albino _once. _Then he would ignore the world working his arse off, he grew in confidence thinking that this time he'll beat Near, so he became even more unpleasant towards the younger boy only to be brought back to Earth and the sour reality which hit him along with the feedback. Cycle starts again.

"_You think you're better than everyone else?" he screamed at the young boy sitting awkwardly on the library floor, carefully placing another pair of cards on the top of his incomplete tower. "You're fucking immature like that!"_

"_I'm afraid that's you, Mello" the albino replied, his voice extremely calm, his eyes fixed on his creation._

"_What?" Mello wanted to kick that little shit, but he kicked something else, it probably was a chair. _

"_If it makes Mello feel better, I perhaps could make a couple of mistakes deliberately during the next examination, enough to give Mello the advantage" the dark grey eyes met the ice blue ones and Mello's jaw dropped. Near bit his lip, waiting for the crack. The blonde's eyes travelled towards the other boy's gently coloured lips. He felt completely out of place when he realised blood was rushing through his own body. His ears. His arms. His dick._

"_You fucking piece of shit!" and he pushed him, that was the only reaction he was willing to take the consequences for. He mumbled something that he hoped sounded fucking mean and left._

Mello stood in before the big, mahogany doors. He never paid attention to it, however today he was trying to buy as much time as possible. Therefore studying every single object he passed seemed like an exceptional idea at the time. The last time he was at the library he found himself drawn to Near, to hurting him. He was so close to strangling that boy, it scared him. He probably wouldn't do it. Near had too much self-respect, or that's what he tried to show everyone. Yes, Near was quiet, but that was more to do with his pride. People like him never wanted to depend on anything or anyone, Mello knew this so well.

The blonde hoped with his whole heart not to find the albino in the library. He wasn't ready to confront him one-on-one after that accident. Yes, even eye contact equalled a battle, who breaks it first loses. He entered.

The room was well lit. The windows were big and- _what I am doing? _thought the boy. Making up excuses to walk as slowly as possible, pretending to analyse the place was for cowards. Was he a coward? Or did he simply avoid trouble? Mello turned around a big stack of books which was always covered the table. As always some kids were last minute revising before the next biology test which was meant to take place tomorrow. Last minute revision is never good, nor it pays off. Succeeding in exams is a tiring process of gathering information over a period of time and making it stay by regular revision. Those who think differently are stupid not to see this.

The boy looked around to see whether the white haired boy was anywhere near, with a sickening feeling in his stomach he came to the conclusion that he was nowhere to be found. He quickly scanned the room for the 'geography' section and when he noticed it, Mello legs moved as quickly as possible, on the very edge between walking and running.

He placed the book on the shelf and turned around only to meet the fierce, _piercing_, coal coloured eyes of a boy younger than him. Every muscle in the blue eyed boy's stomach compressed and the other boy seemed to read his mind. However, something was different about Near. As always he had no facial expression but the look in his eye was so hard and nearly terrifying. He stared at Mello as if his very life depended on it; as if he wanted to crush Mello in the tiniest pieces of matter.

The blonde felt his cheeks get warmer. He had to get out of that place, as far as possible from Near and this fucked up situation. He would go to his room and stay there for the rest of the day. If he was to spend time with the albino, he had to prepare himself for it and this was definitely not how he planned to do it. So he broke the eye contact and let his legs take him out of the library. It surprised the blue eyed boy to realise how strongly the younger boy affects Mello. All of his goals are somehow related to Near, did he feel this way too? Near didn't seem to have goals other than becoming L's successor and since the blonde was sharing this dream did Near think that Mello somehow affected his life? The thought of this somehow terrified him.

He ran and ran and ran through the corridor until he couldn't breathe, so he stopped and leaned against a random wall to get some precious oxygen. He won't be able to work with the white haired boy. Mello will kill him which didn't feel like a bad idea since then he could become the successor though it is very unlikely as L will probably throw him into a high security prison for the rest of his pointless life and more. He will have to quit this little plan of L's and perhaps live his life the way he did before. Maybe Near would be so occupied with the whole thing that he will lay off studying and will do worse at the coming tests which could raise Mello rank in the orphanage. Sounds like a plan, though it could be that the albino won't be asked to sit those exams. Then the plan would be ruined and he would get an advantage. Shit, his heard start to hurt. He'll quit anyway, it's too risky as he knew that working with the other boy will be his doom.

He'll speak to Roger now.

Mello stood straight once he could breathe properly and walked calmly along the corridor passing some hyperactive children and those who are not. In his head he tried to plan the conversation to avoid saying something which could reveal the real motive of his decision. Fear.

'Oh, welcome Mello, I wanted to see you today. What a surprise,' said the older man warmly. He was sitting at his desk, sorting documents out and to the blonde surprise the eccentric detective wasn't there. 'L is extremely excited about this whole test, though I have promised not to give you excessive information, but you came here for a reason. What is it, Mello?

The blonde looked at Roger cautiously. He took a couple of breathes yet the words couldn't leave his throat. Where to being? His memory went completely blank and everything he planned on the way to this place suddenly ran away with his last piece of hope.

'What did you want to talk about?' said Mello exhaling at the same time. Perhaps he can get out of this situation later, on the other hand he was curious.

'L had to leave and he asked me to present to you with more information according the case. The apartment in London is ready and I am in the process of making sure that all of the resources needed are there. Including newspapers, books- it's all pretty standard. L is trusting you to choose where to start' he put another page to the side and ran through the screen of his monitor.

You can move in from tomorrow to next Monday. As long as you let me know the day before we can arrange the transport. You and Near are free to choose separately when to move in if you wish as L understands you may have a different number of things to do before you leave. Since then you will be able to familiarise yourself with the case. You can contact us in case of an emergency. L may contact you when he feels there is a need, he will expect a report.' The man gave out a loud sigh.

'I think this is it for now. L will talk to you about things related to the case soon. I am not sure if it will be while you are in the orphanage.'

Mello nodded. This is going so quick, he wasn't expecting to be expected to leave so soon. Is he ready? _Shit. _He came here to tell Roger that he won't be able to do this. That he wanted to quit. What would Roger say? He knew what that meant… it meant giving up the L's title.

'How does Near feel about this whole test?' asked Mello, keeping his voice calm.

'I have spoken to him just an hour before you. He said he'd like to move in tomorrow, though he is a little bit nervous. I think it might take the element of boredom out of his life. Why are you asking Mello?

The blue eyed boy tried to keep his facial expression unchanged. He expected a similar answer. Near wouldn't back out, it would equal losing. How typical of the boy. He found it extremely interesting how Near could be so see-through at times and so unpredictable the next second. So weak but so strong. A walking oxymoron.

'Just wondering.' he still looked at the man hoping he didn't looks suspicious. 'I should be ready to leave in a couple of days, probably Wednesday. I still have things to do. Should I come back to confirm this with you on that day?

'Yes, Mello. That would be great.' The man replied observing the boy carefully. The other one however seemed unmoved. 'Is there anything else I can help you with?' he asked.

It took him a couple of seconds to respond to Roger, he still was thinking about how ridiculous this situation was. He came here to get out of being with Near and to avoid humiliation if (even after taking such a course of self-control) Near ended up gaining the title of L, the world's greatest detective. At the end of this conversation he is going to leave this room with further plans and excited like a little foolish child, because the truth was they were asked to cooperate, not compete. Since Near isn't a robot (probably) there must be something he can't do better. He is better at winning because he tried to do it all the time (with or without people) and he has never been taught to share or cooperate. Maybe it is Mello's time to shine?

He shook his head. 'No, this is it. Thanks a lot Roger. Can I go now?' asked the boy politely, slowly going back to his casual tone.

'Yes, of course, I'm sorry to keep you here for so long. Take care, Mello' answered the older man.

'It's fine. Thanks again' the blonde stood up and smiled at the man politely before leaving the room.


	6. Game Over?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note**

'So you're leavin' today' the red head sat still on Mello's bed, slowly processing the blonde's words inside his head. He shouldn't be surprised, this day was ought to come. They were both getting older and they were meant to leave Wammy's anyway. Matt just didn't know that he'd be leaving alone.

'Yeah, I guess' answered Mello quietly, he hated himself for letting his voice tremble slightly. He hoped his best friend wouldn't hear it. He also hated himself for waiting until the very last minute, but he knew Matt would think of something and follow him. He was loyal like a dog. 'In an hour actually'.

'An hour,' the gamer repeated 'and you're not comin' back, are you?' Matt refused to look up to meet the ice blue eyes of the blonde. He felt like someone placed both of their hands on his throat and squeezed until he couldn't breathe. It felt like Mello was killing him. He felt betrayed.

'I don't know, I might,' Mello stopped, he owed Matt some truth at least, 'No. I'm not coming back, Matt.'

The other boy sat quietly for some time just following the blonde's shadow, which seemed to continue with packing his clothes into one big bag. He didn't want to be here. How could he lie to him? For the past couple of days everything seemed to be just fine. They talked. Or Matt talked and Mello listened. Mello just listened… Obviously something was wrong and Matt failed to notice it, as always he was too busy concentrating on less important things. Yeah, he messed up big time. Now they have an hour left and Mello isn't coming back. Is this how it's going to end?

'Matt, listen to me,' said suddenly Mello, so different to the previous Mello who was ashamed that he kept a secret from his friend. This Mello was the old Mello, 'I promise, I _will _see you again.'

'Will you? How do you know, maybe you'll just forget. Things like that happen,' replied the other boy, his voice was soaked with pain and disappointment.

Mello sighed and sat next to him. 'I'll find you, or knowing you, you will find me,' he smiled and patted the other boy on the back. Only then he realised.

'Actually I have a better idea,' Matt looked at him for the first time since he heard the news about Mello leaving, the test and everything else. He raised his eyebrows. 'You'll be leaving soon too, right? I know for a fact that we won't have a hacker available and I truly doubt Near can do all this amazing shit you can. When you find a place at, preferably somewhere in London, let me know. I could definitely use your skills. Then we solve it, Near fucks off and we do our own shit. How does that sound, bro?'

Mello couldn't believe he was saying all this, but Matt seemed to believe him like a little child. There was no way he could bring Matt into this without L knowing. The other problem was that when they solve the case there will be no 'Near fucking off' or 'them doing their own shit'. Everything would change. For better or for worse, he had no idea, but it would never be the same.

But Matt's smile and dreamy gaze revealed it all. He believed him. For now it had to be enough.

'Okay, Mels' said the redhead still smiling, but this time he looked at his friend, 'everything will be alright. I'm sure it will.'

The blonde nodded and the gamer hugged him. This was nothing new, Matt always hugged him.

'I should go,' said Mello quietly and the other boy pushed himself away.

'Go. I'll see you soon,' the two of them stood up.

'Take care Matt, you can stay in here if you want but be careful not to get locked in here, I don't know if he will lock the room' whispered the blue eyed boy.

'You too blondie' answered the other boy. 'Show Near who's the boss' then he heard Mello's laugh, the doors closing and steps fading away.

The gamer let out a heavy sigh and fell to the floor. The tears attacked his face as all of his muscles relaxed. Mello left. He fucked up. He fucked up big time. He had a couple of days to figure out what was wrong and plan on how to leave with Mello. Now, all he was left with was accepting the bullshit he gave him about leaving the Wammy's, finding a place to stay and finding Mello, working with him. He didn't know if L would allow it, but he would definitely know. He wasn't a part of his world anymore. It was between Near and Mello. Not Matt. It was a game over for him.

Perhaps what has just happened would turn out for the better... even Matt's. The truth is that in the past kids of their ability left the institute way earlier than their peers. Mello stayed because he waited for the end of the Near vs Mello battle and Matt wouldn't leave without Mello, so he stayed, watched and supported his best friend. Perhaps it really is a sign that he should leave Wammy's and the painful past.

What hurt him was that Mello didn't seem that bothered, a little embarassed to be caught lying, but not much beyond that. However, perhaps it was better that way. Caring about Mello as much as he did, brought Matt an incredible amount of pain. He didn't want Mello to hurt. He's been through enough and then again, the situation with Near didn't help either. Sometimes Matt thought the blonde started to lose it completely and then Matt realised that his desire to fuck Mello until the other one couldn't walk for days was uncalled for.

An image of Mello from a couple of months ago, covered in dirt with his black shirt torn in places revealing the patches of his muscled flesh, appeared in front of his eyes. He loved watching Mello when he played football. Of course the red head always looked like he was involved in playing a game, his eyes covered with his goggles and in the sunlight it didn't make a difference anyway.

As the tears stopped falling, the redhead unconsciously moved his hand towards the insides of his thigh. He imagined the blonde's arms covered in sweat moving fast next to his body and his hand went up to his crotch. The gamer applied some pressure and soon his voice hitched. He touched himself so many times, but never in his room. The realisation of this made his vision blur when the boy slithered his hand in his TMNT boxers. If only Mello could... he remembered the way the blonde looked at other boys after the game, when they lost he took a target and wrestled him, then a fight would break out, but before he infiltrated every single part of their body. He undressed them with his own eyes- at least in Matt's mind. The thought made the him shiver, but combining it with the sweet sensation on the tip of his cock made him bite his lip so hard he nearly drew blood to contain the moan and hit his head against the door. The gamer soon realised he wasn't breathing, quickly he inhaled through his nose, not to let any whimpers out. He took up some speed and when the light faded away and he could see Mello wresting other boys. Their legs wrapped around their bodies... his head... dick was about to explode. He used his free hand to grab his balls and just moved them slightly. Did he just see Mello's hips gently buckle against another boy? The amount of pressure applied to his cock started to hurt but he didn't give half a shit, he jerked off furiously in Mello's room, his face once again wet due to tears, his knees shaking like a little virgin's. He was starting to lose it.

And then Matt heard steps just outside Mello's room.


	7. Journey

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note**

Winchester. A real example that only death is perfect. Now, he was leaving perfection behind, but will life come back?

Mello looked out of the window covered with water vapour. The boy was tempted to draw something on it, like the last time during his journey from London- a place he remembers from his childhood to Winchester. The place that killed him.

Of course, it was a metaphorical death, not in any way physical. An important part of him that was annihilated by people with a sick craving of power, who were willing to kill, hurt and break up families for that.

The blonde could feel his throat tighten and immediately shook the painful thought away. Compressed it, pushed to the dark, cluttered, dense part of his mind. The boy looked around, quickly enough to register who was sitting near him without making the eye contact. A black obese woman, older man, and a petite woman with a child. He looked again and saw a blonde boy sitting opposite to him. Hugging a blanket, cuddling the wall of the train. He made a desperate effort to make his eyes look hard and not frightened. Next to him sat an older man, probably in his fifties, with many bald patches on his head. He was dresses really smartly. He was probably with the boy.

Mello looked at the scene, they didn't not seem to notice him.

'Are you sure my mummy is really dead? What if she comes looking for me?' asked the child , not looking at the other man. It was probably just an attempt to get a different reply to what he received previously.

'I've told you already, dear. I'm sorry but she isn't coming back. I will take care of you now' replied the man as quietly.

'What will happen to me?' the boy's voice shook slightly. This time he turned his head to look at the older man. His eyes suddenly mellow and full of hope.

The man faintly smiled at the blue eyed creature, embraced him and whispered something in his ear. It wasn't audible, but Mello knew exactly what's been said.

_'We will try to make the world's greatest detective out of you'_ whispered Mello still staring at the scene. The little boy looked at the old man shocked, when he pressed his index finger to his mouth, asking the boy to not tell anyone.

'Do you FUCKING mind?' Mello heard a furious, deep female voice and the scene disappeared. Before him sat a large, African woman with testosterone spilling from every part of her, her fits in the air and an extremely angry expression. 'You been starin' for a fuckin' half an hour... If I was you I'd rather the hell away from here. Freak,' she hissed.

Mello was about to open his mouth when he realised there was no point. He wasn't meant to get any attention while on his way to London and getting into arguments with fat bitches definitely wasn't a way to do that.

He quietly stood up, gathered his things together, gave the swearing woman a last dirty look and simply walked towards the toilet.

Mello closed the door behind him, dropped his belongings, leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror. At himself. His eyes were bloodshot and skin was pale. Suddenly he felt sick and noticed the pulsing pain at the very front of his head. He felt like murdering every single one of those fuckers. Everything danced around him. The walls seemed to get closer and closer cutting off the amount of oxygen he could consume. He had to get out. Toilet, door, toilet, door. He looked up only to find a disguisting cream coloured ceiling. Was it too moving? Fuck no. He didn't know anything. His vision blurred. Mello hit the ground as the train stopped.

_3 hours ealier_

As soon as Matt registered the sound and managed to unfreeze, he stood up as soon as possible and quickly ran to the bathroom zipping his jeans and locking the door behind him. His pale palms already made their way to the turned on tap and with a single movement, he splashed wanted across his face. _Breathe , Matt. Breathe._ His heart was slowing down, but then he heard the doors open. It was probably one of the cleaners... after all Mello wasn't coming back. The room would be prepared for another kid straight away. He made his way out of the bathroom.

'Matt' the gamer heard a voice which definitely did not belong to one of the cleaners. He turned around to see who it was.

'Roger' the boy replied, still slightly shaken.

'What are you doing here? I was looking for you,' the man gave the other boy a caring look.

'I was talking to Mello before... and then he left and I needed the toilet' said the redhead trying to keep his voice as strong and confident as possible.

'I see, I came to speak to you about Mello, but I didn't expect you to find here. I will be sending the cleaners in this afternoon, so it would be preferable, if you didn't disturb them' the boy nodded quietly, but Roger knew how it hurt him to lose a friend like that. 'Matt... I just wanted to ask if you're okay and if I can do anything to help. Perhaps you'd like to sign onto some extra curriculum activities?

Matt raised his eyebrows, 'I'm okay Roger. Don't worry about me. However, there is one thing I'd like to ask you about.

'Yes?'

'I've been thinking about this even when Mello was here, but I never brought it up, as I know he had his own plans' he started, looking for comfort in the floorboards underneath him, 'but now there isn't anything holding me here any more. I'd like to leave, Roger.'

The older man smiled at his words.

'I thought you might want that, actually, L said that even if you didn't bring it up, we'd ask you what you thought about that. It's completely understandable. We promise to support you as much as we can' for a second he looked slightly troubled, 'there is one thing I'd like to ask you, Matt.'

'What is it?' asked the gamer, worry audible in his voice.

'L believes that you shouldn't try to contact Mello for some time. He can't be distracted, it's an extremely important case. I hope you understand' he said.

Matt looked semi-surprised at the older man. For some reason he was expecting him to say that. Nevertheless, there was something missing in there...

'With all respect, you and L think that Mello spending every minute with Near will be for the very best of the case? I find it extremely hard to believe,' suggested Matt, his face muscles tensed as he tried controlling his temper.

'They both agreed to it, plus this case must be solved by both of them, there is no other way. Or if there is, this one is the best path to take.' said Roger. 'I understand it must be terribly hard for you Matt, but you also need to understand what's best for Mello.' the older man touched his shoulder offering comfort but when he saw the lack of cooperation from the orphan, he decided to back off. 'We've been together since you were little... you, Near, Mello. We know what's best for you. Trust me.' he whispered in a warm tone of voice which comforted Matt a little bit but also annoyed him greatly.

'Okay, Roger.' replied Matt quietly. 'I won't contact him.'

_Back in London._

It was dark, even with the many neon signs or street lights. Many felt so alone, even though people surrounded them. Mello has already walked for ten minutes since he stepped out of the bus. The cheap posters, random, empty cans of beer could be seen every five steps he took. The moment Mello entered the neighbourhood, he knew it wasn't luxury. Many average height buildings, several alleys where you could probably be murdured and the feeling so different to other parts of the capital. Here you never felt alone, especially after the sun had set.

Mello wondered why L would arrange an aparment in such an area, he certainly could afford regular flights from Japan and England and vice versa, greed certainly was not to be considered. The blue eyed boy, knew perfectly well that Mello would be able to find himself in such an area. Actually, he grew up in this very neighbourhood. The shop on the other side of the road could be seen as his first drug dealer, his drug was and still is chocolate.

At least until recently.

Thinking about Near, what did he think of this area? No one seems to know where he was from, but Mello doubted that he woud grow up in a similar area. Could he handle the change of the envinroment? Or has he already adapted?

Near... Mello hadn't seen the white haired freak for several days now. Did he miss him? Probably not. It was always just a habit to see, bother him. God, how much Mello loved _bothering _that boy back.

No one except from his mother ever bothered him and even she eventually fucked off to hopefully heaven. She always rambled so much abou the Catholic ideas of afterlife. Always said how good heaven is, Mello discarded it all he day he found out she was found with her throat slit in bed with some other man. No, he didn't know that officialy from Roger, but he saw the news and linked the two facts.

Now Mello finally understood why his mother always wore red, smelt so nice, dressed beautifly... left him at night, always got phonecalls, one day didn't return home.

She was a prostitute who probably got killed by one of the client. Case closed.

The boy walked up to a talled building, it seemed slightly better that the rest of them. Some of the lights were turned on, though his ice blue eyes froze when he noticed a semisphere of white fluff by the curtain.

'Near...' he exhaled.

I'm so sorry this took so long. I honestly have the worst writer's block ever. It's an absolutely distguisting writer's block and it doesn't help that it is around 2a.m. in the morning when I am finish off this.


End file.
